SakuHina's Revenge
by Crimson Leopard
Summary: After Sakura mysteriously chances upon Fanfiction, she has teamed up with Hinata to shake the Fanfic world as you know it.
1. Prelude to Destruction

**A/N:** Hello! This is an idea I've had for a while. I'm fans of both Sakura and Hinata, and it really bugged me when people bashed them. So, what better way to deliver the truth than from Sakura and Hinata themselves!? Pretty much a parody of Fanfictions, though no single Fanfic specifically. Other characters will join eventually. So... enjoy!

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Her fist was literally smoking as she managed to make yet another hole into her bedroom wall.

"WHAT THE HELL!" The beast roared, her body trembling with rage while she glared daggers into the monitor before her.

People walking outside on the streets of Konoha simply ignored the ruckus coming from the building above- a day when Sakura _didn't_ scream and disturb the village would be a day of their wildest dreams.

"I…I want to kill them." Sakura muttered venomously and leaped out of her window, leaving dust behind to attack the innocent travelers on the street.

After walking for two minutes (it was more sprinting and knocking down whatever trees were in her way), Sakura arrived at the Hyuuga Household. As she entered the premises, she spotted Neji and Hinata sparring together. They had already activated their Byakugans and were in the middle of a heated match. Only a fool would interrupt two talented members of the Hyuuga in the middle of their—

"Oi! Hinata! I need you to come with me!" Sakura declared suddenly. Her intrusion startled both cousins, making Neji lose his footing and Hinata pierce her cousin right in the groin.

Neji very painfully crashed to the ground, holding his manhood while he uncharacteristically whimpered and moaned. "Neji nii-san!" Hinata cried, and offered a hand to the poor shriveled lump in front of her. "I-I'm so sorry!"

Sakura rolled her eyes and pulled Hinata away forcefully. "He'll be fine, he's been injured way worse than that before. Anyway let's go! I need you!"

"B-but!—"

"Come on! Geez, those Fanfictions were right- you stammer a lot!"

Hinata released her Byakugan and blinked twice. "What?"

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Hinata covered her mouth and gasped, her eyes unwilling to leave the computer screen. "I… I can't believe this! Sakura-san, w-what is this!?"

Sakura shook her head solemnly and said, "From what I've read so far, it is called Fanfiction. Apparently, in another world, people write about our lives! But, really, I thought the ones that featured me were bad, but after seeing the ones you're in… I feel so sorry for you, Hinata."

Hinata gave a painful smile and said, "N-no, you suffered just as much, Sakura-san. But, how did you find out about this? And what is this device on your table? It has a picture of a bitten apple, but it does not look edible…"

Sakura scrunched up her face and replied, "All of a sudden, I wake up this morning, and that… magical box appeared! It came with a piece of paper that had written on it instructions on how to operate this device."

Hinata widened her eyes and whispered, "N-No way… it can't be… Sakura-san, should we tell Tsunade-sama about this? It could even be an enemy trap…"

Sakura stroked her chin and said, "I was going to… until I read one of these. And then another. And another. And I noticed most of them focus on the two of us and other…. males. Hinata, I think… this is our duty."

Hinata raised her blue eyebrows and asked, "W-what could you possibly mean?!"

Sakura clenched her fists and said "I think it is our job to tell this world, this Fanfiction world, the truth! That we're not just girls asking for a good time, or that we're as weak as we are depicted as in these stories! It's our task assigned to us from a Fanfiction lord to fix Fanfiction! Now, are you with me?!" By now Sakura was panting and sweating profusely.

Hinata contemplated this for a bit and played with her fingers. On one hand, it would be best to tell her superiors about this… thing, but on the other hand… it would be a bold thing to do. And was she sick of people telling her she was shy! Hinata strengthened her resolve and shook Sakura's hand.

"Yes."

And that was the day Haruno Sakura and Hyuuga Hinata embarked on their journey to revolutionize Fanfiction.

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So, what do you think about this? Based on your reviews, I'll continue this or not. So... It'd be just splendid if you could** review**!

**Crimson Leopard**


	2. NaruHina

**A/N**: The first chapter! The story starts off with one of the most popular pairings, NaruHina. Thanks a buttload to (state who reviewed) who graciously reviewed, favorite, and/or followed this story! Note: This story does not mock any Fanfiction story specifically, and is not intended to insult the authors of Fanfiction in any way, shape, or form. It is Hinata and Sakura who have complaints, not I.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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SakuHina's Revenge- Chapter 1: NaruHina

To the **completely** deranged Fanfiction race,

S- This is Haruno Sakura and Hyuuga Hinata. We have infiltrated your universe and plan on upturning this sick and twisted world. We hope to have your attention.

H- Sakura-san, why are you speaking in such a formal manner? And should we really just be inputting what we are speaking?

S- Hinata! Everyone knows you sound more intelligent when you speak formally! And it seems like many Fanfiction authors just type down conversations they have with other characters for most of their stories! It's okay, we have discovered that they do not think before writing as well!

H- Oh, I suppose you are correct! Please continue!

S- Yes! As I was saying… through thorough research done personally by Hinata and me, we have concluded that one of the most popular "pairings" (judging by what you all call these) is with Naruto and Hinata! I mean, really! Why would you put someone as stupid and brash as that idiot with someone as sweet and rational as Hinata!?

H- …S-S-Sakura-san… I really don't think Naruto is that ba—

S- Did you know there are 14, 881 stories starring Hinata and Naruto? And counting! Your wrists could be used for a much more practical function, such as throwing kunai or forming hand signs for jutsu! Why waste it on writing something that would never **ever **happen in even a million centuries!

H- …Never ever?

S- Of course not! Besides, it's not like you actually love him, right Hinata? Hinata? Why does it seem like your spirit just died all of a sudden?

H- (mumbles) Even after the Pain incident… and I confessed to him… and I didn't even blush…

S- …It seems like Hinata's pure soul has withered away after reading your disgraceful stories. Poor thing… you know she's always been shy and sensitive about these things! But moving on… 11,396 of the stories on Naruto and Hinata have romance, and an entire 2,399 are rated M! We have learned that stories rated M are… well, quite inappropriate! Have you no shame?

H- But, Sakura-san, weren't you the one who kept on reading them? Your face turned so red, and you kept getting vicious nosebleeds, and so I had thought you had a fever from reading such material! Really, Sakura-san, you're incredible. To go through such pain and still follow through reading them… you are a true shinobi.

S- …Thanks, Hinata.

H- No really! One nosebleed you had flung you all the way through the walls of your room and into the streets! I think you said that was the one where Naruto-kun used his Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and he and his clones and I—

S- OKAY! Uhuh… Hinata, don't you think we are getting off on a tangent? May I remind you this is to scold the writers of Fanfiction, not the readers?

H- O-oh! Okay! I'm sorry! Please proceed!

S- Yeah… so as I was saying… why do you Fanfictioners overuse so many descriptive adjectives? "Cerulean Orbs," "Blond locks," "Shiny mounds of pleasure." You can just say Naruto's eyes, his yellow hair, and Hinata's way-too-big breasts!

H- Sakura-san! Please! They're not that big!

S- Please, I think they were the ones that went through the time-skip! But back to the topic… why do you keep rambling on and on about Naruto's cock and Hinata's beaver? Naruto does not have a pet chicken, and beavers cannot be found in Konoha! There were many mentions of Hinata's beaver being hairy, but you should know that beavers do not have hair! They have fur!

H- Yes! And also… many of the situations that Naruto-kun and I were in together… (turns crimson) were complete and utter nonsense! What is "high school?" Is that a place where… (turns an unhealthy shade of all the colors in the rainbow) students just grab each other and steal their lips! (Hinata faints.)

S- Hinata! You don't have to go that far! But she is correct! What's up with Naruto's "desire to mate" with Hinata? All of a sudden, he becomes a total S and Hinata a total M? You do know that Naruto's first kiss was with Sasuke-kun, right? And stories in which Naruto falls in love with Hinata at first sight are impossible. That idiot doesn't have a large enough attention span to look at a girl for more than ten seconds, much less spend his whole life looking after her "under the shadows." Is that supposed to be a joke? Because we have so many mentions of "kage" in our world? Because if it is, you have a worse sense of humor than Tsunade-sama when she finds out Naruto spilt her last sake bottle.

S- But… most importantly, WHY AM I PORTRAYTED AS AN ABUSIVE BITCH IN ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE STORIES?! I never "played around with Naruto and broke his heart!" I don't abusive him, I reprimand him for being such a dumbass! I don't punch him if he makes me a meal, I punch him if he peeps or uses his Harem no Jutsu! And if I'm so ugly, then why does Lee-san love me!

….

….

….

S- I… just realized something very disturbing. I'll go heal Hinata and then kill myself. Look forward to the next chapter.

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**Please review and share with me your ideas for further Naruto fanfic stereotypes**! It doesn't have to be just pairings; it could be alternate universes, such as Naruto in the army, or Naruto and Sasuke crime solvers (I plan on using both). The pairings I will use in the future are NaruSaku, SasuSaku, and NaruSasu.

Thanks for reading and your support!

(BY THE WAY, SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW'S NARUTO MANGA!)


	3. Sakura's Love Triangle

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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SakuHina's Revenge- Chapter 2: Sakura's Love Triangle

S- Hey, Fanfiction. It's us again.

H- Sakura-san, what happened to your enthusiasm from last time? Is it because of our topic this time?

S- Hinata… do you even have to ask? You can start the topic this time. I feel like that time I saw Guy Sensei carry Kakashi Sensei on his back…

H- It is that terrible, yes? But proceeding forwards… today's focus will be Sakura's Love triangle! However, it is not with who you think it is! That is correct- this triangle is between the two lovers Shikamaru-san and Ino-san!

S- I could care less about those two, but… YOU IDIOTS INCLUDED ME!

H- Sakura-san! Don't get too upset! Fanfiction authors take any situation of two people and twist it into some sort of love relationship! And about the triangle… we have recognized that several stories are starring Ino-san and Shikamaru-san as lovers, and Sakura-san as the temptress! So, please welcome our special guests, Ino-san and Shikamaru-san!

Sh- Ah, Hinata, don't make it seem like you're hosting a game show and introducing us. Ah, this is such a drag.

I- Shikamaru! Aren't you the least bit excited on what this Fanfiction is? Forehead and Hinata said it was a collection of false stories about our lives! And what the hell is this about Shikamaru and me? We are NOT romantically involved in any way! Besides, I only like cute boys, like Sai or Sasuke-kun! Shikamaru is like a pineapple. And no one calls Shikamaru-san "Shika-kun," so I'm not really sure where you got that strange nickname from either.

H- I-Ino-san! You shouldn't say that! According to the stories, you find his intelligence very… uh, sexy, and ever since you three passed the Chunin exams, you've secretly loved him!

S- Hinata, I think you're missing the big picture here! It isn't that Ino and Shikamaru secretly love each other, it's that **I'M** the whore who's trying to steal Shikamaru from Pig! Since when do I even show a hint of liking Shikamaru! Besides, I wouldn't like anything Pig liked!

I- Heh, I'll toss that right back at you.

Sh- Weren't you both in love with Sasuke though? Yeah, that's the whole reason you two became rivals!

I- (Glares at Shikamaru with killing intent)

S- (Get's her fist cocked against her side)

Sh- … What a drag, now I have to run away from two hags…

H- S-…Sakura-san! Ino-san! You can't kill Shikamaru! (Crash!) That's the third time your wall has broken, Sakura-san!

H- Um… it doesn't seem like those three will be back, so I'll finish this off… Even though you wrote so many InoShika stories, I think Shikamaru-san likes Temari-san. (Loud bang!) Sakura-san said something about two pineapples in a pod, but I think she said the saying incorrectly. And there aren't many triangle stories with Chouji-san in them as well! Chouji-san is really really nice, so you should write nice stories about him, not just calling him fat! And I don't think Sakura-san hates Ino-san so much she would do such mean things with Shikamaru-san! Though Sakura-san can get a bit mean… please don't tell her that. And… I know I don't usually play a big role in these stories, but I don't always stutter! And I can be confident when it's important! So, it'd be nice if you stopped—

S- Naruto, is that you?

H- EH? N-N-N-N-Naruto-kun! (Faints)

S- Looks like Hinata fainted again. Ino is taking care of Shikamaru, so until next time!

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**A/N: I'll be updating weekly/bi-weekly, FYI. Recommendations welcome! Please give me all your ideas! and as always, review!**


	4. For the Gays

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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SakuHina's Revenge- Chapter 3: For the Gays

Fan Fiction writers,

S- We have decided to dedicate this special addition to the yaoi works centering on our lives. Let me explain something that I'm sure none of you know- Yaoi means boy on boy action.

H- Uh… and by boy on boy action, Sakura-san means that two men are romantically involved. Which I am fine with! I completely support those relationships!

S- …But see, Hinata and I aren't too good at talking about that stuff. So, we brought over Konoha's most famous gay couple! Please give a warm welcome to Guy Sensei and Kakashi Sensei!

G- Heyyyyy! Does Fan Fiction feel alive?! Does Fan Fiction feel young?! I will forever be youthful!

K- Oi Guy! What are you saying? We're not like that. Sakura, you told me I would get the special edition of Icha Icha that you found hidden in your closet.

S- Ah, right, I'll get it. Turns out my mom's a big fan too, so you have to give it back soon.

H- Um… I didn't know Guy Sensei and Kakashi Sensei liked each other like that! I mean, you two were in a lot of Fan Fiction stories together, and there were some pretty… intense descriptions of you two, but I thought it was all fake.

G- Haha! That's why they call me Gay Guy!

H- …

K- Guy, gay doesn't just mean happy. You're calling yourself a homosexual.

G- Ah, that's right! I am a homosexual!

H- …

K- Guy, homosexual doesn't mean human. That's homo sapiens. For the record, I'm straighter than Guy's posture, and do you really think a man like that has enough brains to comprehend what yaoi is?

H- T-That's right! Only a fool could think any of the people could be like that! (Soft cough) So, we have already explained this world to them, so let's hear what they have to say!

K- You were all smoking something when you wrote this. There are stories about Guy and me, Shikamaru and Choji, and I think there's even one about Iruka and Sandiame. This is a regressing society.

G- And there are even stories about me and Lee! Not that I don't like them, I think you might have gotten the wrong idea! We don't ever have the need to compare the sizes of our dicks! And that never leads to sex either!

H- G-Guy Sensei, you're so straightforward!

K- Yeah Guy, who knew you wanted to do those things with your student?

S- Ah, that reminds me of those weird stories where Guy Sensei and Lee would be in this terrible dimension called, "High School." I remember reading some that had Lee…er… provocatively persuading Guy Sensei to raise his grades… or so. Actually, it seems a great majority of Fan Fiction thinks that Lee-san is gay! Guy Sensei, Kakashi Sensei, tell the readers this is false!

K- Well…

G- Of course he is! We are both gay! Gay for training!

H- I… I don't think you should be saying that, Sensei. Actually, there were pairings with practically everyone! Shikamaru-san and Asuma Sensei, Shino-kun and Kiba-kun, and there were even many with Neji nii-san and others! Neji nii-san isn't like that! And… well, most of them were the pairing of Naruto-kun and Sa—

S- Hinata! I think that's such a huge topic, it needs its own chapter. But, to summarize, please realize the only homosexuals we have are Sensei and Sensei. Even Orochimaru is only an okama.

K- Right… as I've said, I am very much straight. That reminds me- I'm going to be late for a mission Tsunade-sama called me for! Come on Guy- you're in it as well.

G- Oh! You mean the Super-Secret S-ranked mission we weren't to tell a soul about! Yes! Ah, it feels so good to be gay!

S- …Right. And by Super-Secret S-ranked mission, that just means you two are going to make out.

K- Sakura, you've been reading way too many of these twisted things. We're going on a mission. Besides, that one episode where I saw Guy's acorn was filler. That didn't actually happen.

H- Did we just break the 4th wall?

S- I think the very creation of this broke the 5th, 6th, and 7th walls too. Well, we'll give the two gay lovebirds time alone. Just remember, yaoi "fan girls," –

K- We will find you.

S- We will hunt you down.

H- A-and most importantly…

G- We will be youthful! Everybody!

S- Guy Sensei, just go have your little sexual adventures with Sensei already. OUTSIDE of my room. You already ruined it. Next time, we will have a very very special guest! Look forward to being told off yet again!

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**A/N: **Do any of you know the filler episode I'm talking about? Episode 241- Kakashi, My Eternal Rival! I couldn't stop laughing. I recommend you see it.


	5. Note from author

Hey

I'm so sorry for this, but I've decided to stop this story. I just don't have enough time. Though there weren't many followers anyway, I still want to apologize deeply for those of you who liked this. School and work and just about everything have consumed all of my time, leaving none for this story. Anyone can feel free to take over this story, you don't need my permission. Again, I'm sorry, I hate giving up on things, but some things hold importance over others.

Farewell,

Crimson Leopard


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